i've spent the past four days.
watching greys anatomy. and being sick. and it really weirds me out.
because ruth is sick and watching greys anatomy.
and we didn't even discuss to do this at the same time.
i think we could be twins. and i'm not even kidding.

other news: i was asked to the triny college senior ball by one joshua ryan.
and i feel really old. but i know i'm not.
it's actually made my life. i thought that now i'd moved two hours away,
that everyone had forgotten about me. and then i get a call,
and i thought that josh was just using me to call emilie because her phone was dead and he knew she was at my house. but he actually wanted to talk to me. i mean, i know i'm not a first choice or anything,
but damn, i'm excited. people remember me. i mean something.

i finally, finally recieved a pair of lace up boots today.
and the most awkward thing happened.
and i'm writing it here because mother will never find it here.
but i don't want to be a teacher.
and i have to be. otherwise, well, i just have to be a teacher.
and i inquired about graphic design at a college in the city.
and the brochure came in the mail today
and i opened it right infront of my mother, not realising what  it was.

i had to tell her that my dream, was motherfucking junk mail.

every single day.
i wake up and i drink a coffee.
when i'm sad, i drink a coffee.
when i'm happy, i drink a coffee.
and every single day, i smile at how much it warms up my heart strings.
i'm in love. and i don't care that the love of my life chills in my stomach after our love making.
it's kind of weird. but then again,
so am i.