Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
i've spent the past four days.
watching greys anatomy. and being sick. and it really weirds me out.
because ruth is sick and watching greys anatomy.
and we didn't even discuss to do this at the same time.
i think we could be twins. and i'm not even kidding.
other news: i was asked to the triny college senior ball by one joshua ryan.
and i feel really old. but i know i'm not.
it's actually made my life. i thought that now i'd moved two hours away,
that everyone had forgotten about me. and then i get a call,
and i thought that josh was just using me to call emilie because her phone was dead and he knew she was at my house. but he actually wanted to talk to me. i mean, i know i'm not a first choice or anything,
but damn, i'm excited. people remember me. i mean something.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
i finally, finally recieved a pair of lace up boots today.
and the most awkward thing happened.
and i'm writing it here because mother will never find it here.
but i don't want to be a teacher.
and i have to be. otherwise, well, i just have to be a teacher.
and i inquired about graphic design at a college in the city.
and the brochure came in the mail today
and i opened it right infront of my mother, not realising what it was.
i had to tell her that my dream, was motherfucking junk mail.
and the most awkward thing happened.
and i'm writing it here because mother will never find it here.
but i don't want to be a teacher.
and i have to be. otherwise, well, i just have to be a teacher.
and i inquired about graphic design at a college in the city.
and the brochure came in the mail today
and i opened it right infront of my mother, not realising what it was.
i had to tell her that my dream, was motherfucking junk mail.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
i wake up and i drink a coffee.
when i'm sad, i drink a coffee.
when i'm happy, i drink a coffee.
and every single day, i smile at how much it warms up my heart strings.
i'm in love. and i don't care that the love of my life chills in my stomach after our love making.
it's kind of weird. but then again,
so am i.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
hey world.
i was just kind of wondering like,
at what point in a relationship does someone stop being referred to as their name and just being referred to as "my boyfriend"? is there a specific time. like ooh, 3 months in, TIME TO LOSE IDENTITY. bernard? who is this bernard fellow your talking about? oh, YOU MEAN MAAA BOOYYYYYFWEENNDD. yeah, HE HAWT. i'm in a relationship. with my latte. i still refer to my lover as my latte. i'm not going to run around renaming him as my cutesie wutsie boyf. yeah. people make me vomit. all the time. lucky i eat a lot or my stomach lining would be fuuuuuuccckkkeedd.
i was just kind of wondering like,
at what point in a relationship does someone stop being referred to as their name and just being referred to as "my boyfriend"? is there a specific time. like ooh, 3 months in, TIME TO LOSE IDENTITY. bernard? who is this bernard fellow your talking about? oh, YOU MEAN MAAA BOOYYYYYFWEENNDD. yeah, HE HAWT. i'm in a relationship. with my latte. i still refer to my lover as my latte. i'm not going to run around renaming him as my cutesie wutsie boyf. yeah. people make me vomit. all the time. lucky i eat a lot or my stomach lining would be fuuuuuuccckkkeedd.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
i have a job interview today. and everytime i have one of these i remember that i don't buy nice clothes.
my wardbrobe consists of jeans and bright coloured tee shirts and apparently, that is not proper attire.
i realise that how you dress reflects alot of who you are, but you know what?
i'ma charm the fuck out of you anyway, regardless of if i'm in a tie dye or a high waisted skirt.
my wardbrobe consists of jeans and bright coloured tee shirts and apparently, that is not proper attire.
i realise that how you dress reflects alot of who you are, but you know what?
i'ma charm the fuck out of you anyway, regardless of if i'm in a tie dye or a high waisted skirt.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
do you ever get the feeling that your heart just, well, died?
it happens to me every time i watch dead poets society.
every single time. in an hour and a half, i become inspired and then whatever thought, dream or idea is killed.
i'm kind of like neil and it scares me. it scares me so much that i watch the movie over again, waiting, hopelessly for the ending that will suit me. it's a constant suffocation by pressure. my entire life.
drowning in expectations. i just want it to stop. but not like neil.
although, i did play the part of puck once. just like neil.
see? it's scary. i can't take it. i don't know who i want to be. i mean, i'm only eighteen.
it's not like i really exist is it? have i even made an impact in this so called place?
indeed, i think i have not. not at all. i won't be remembered. i won't be missed.
why is it so important that i decide my future now?
all i want, is to be remembered. and i can't do that if i don't even remember who i am.
it happens to me every time i watch dead poets society.
every single time. in an hour and a half, i become inspired and then whatever thought, dream or idea is killed.
i'm kind of like neil and it scares me. it scares me so much that i watch the movie over again, waiting, hopelessly for the ending that will suit me. it's a constant suffocation by pressure. my entire life.
drowning in expectations. i just want it to stop. but not like neil.
although, i did play the part of puck once. just like neil.
see? it's scary. i can't take it. i don't know who i want to be. i mean, i'm only eighteen.
it's not like i really exist is it? have i even made an impact in this so called place?
indeed, i think i have not. not at all. i won't be remembered. i won't be missed.
why is it so important that i decide my future now?
all i want, is to be remembered. and i can't do that if i don't even remember who i am.
Friday, May 7, 2010
argh. you're such a fucking fucker! i literally cannot think of anything to say but fuck now. i dislike you so intensely that i actually lose the will to communicate in the same language that you destroy with your fuckheadness everyday. seriously, why the hell do you even exist? at least i can acknowledge the fact that i think i'm cool. yeah, i'm arrogant as fuck but at least i'm not a god damn poser. oh, check you out, know what music is! hi-five for being able to legitimately go on wikipedia. seriously, that's so amazing i think i want to be your best friend in the entire world.
it just urks me so bad, when people just can't accept that people like what they like and that's it. screw liking what's cool and hating what isn't. you like something because it is amazing, not because everyone else does. who gives a god damn shit in life if i want to watch glee or some other musical with all my life? does it really concern you? i think you'll find that regardless of what i watch, i'm still going to think you're a ginormous twat.
because you just are. i wish i could say this to your face. if we didn't have mutual friends, oh the things i would throw at you!
it just urks me so bad, when people just can't accept that people like what they like and that's it. screw liking what's cool and hating what isn't. you like something because it is amazing, not because everyone else does. who gives a god damn shit in life if i want to watch glee or some other musical with all my life? does it really concern you? i think you'll find that regardless of what i watch, i'm still going to think you're a ginormous twat.
because you just are. i wish i could say this to your face. if we didn't have mutual friends, oh the things i would throw at you!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
hello all. (ruth)
i have a new aim in life.
apart from the whole, opening cafes, designing coffee mugs, marrying a peasant in barcelona thing.
i'm going to read all the books that rory mentions in gilmore girls.
i think it's a very worthy mission. it could take a while
but i think it will be a very good thing. and when i eventually meet my soulmate,
they'll be very impressed when we watch gilmore girls together
and i understand every quote. how intelligent they will find me!
and then i'll giggle. and say something stupid and spill coffee down my front.
i'm a moment ruiner.
that's just how i roll.
i have a new aim in life.
apart from the whole, opening cafes, designing coffee mugs, marrying a peasant in barcelona thing.
i'm going to read all the books that rory mentions in gilmore girls.
i think it's a very worthy mission. it could take a while
but i think it will be a very good thing. and when i eventually meet my soulmate,
they'll be very impressed when we watch gilmore girls together
and i understand every quote. how intelligent they will find me!
and then i'll giggle. and say something stupid and spill coffee down my front.
i'm a moment ruiner.
that's just how i roll.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
hey. so i've quit facebook for a week.
shock horror i know. but i need to not fail uni. at the moment i'm bi-polar as.
i keep having contradicting thoughts.
like one moment;
i just want to fail everything. just to see what it would be like. and i don't see a reason in continuing education when i know i'd prefer to learn life's lessons through practice rather than in a lecture. and i go to a lecture and they tell me that a persons personality is based on their childhood. and i think, "yeah well, that's all well and good freud but is that a story i want to tell? is that really going to matter? wouldn't it be more interesting to meet a man in vegas whose parents were clowns rather than analyse how this will affect his life?"
and then i think;
well hang on. imagine how amazing it would be to recieve high distinctions in everything. and go on exchange. and do masters and then a phd and then a thesis. and be so well educated that people actually want to hear me rant about everything. and when i have those thoughts, i actually take notes in lectures.
i don't know if you can imagine what it's like in my head.
but it's pretty effed up.
shock horror i know. but i need to not fail uni. at the moment i'm bi-polar as.
i keep having contradicting thoughts.
like one moment;
i just want to fail everything. just to see what it would be like. and i don't see a reason in continuing education when i know i'd prefer to learn life's lessons through practice rather than in a lecture. and i go to a lecture and they tell me that a persons personality is based on their childhood. and i think, "yeah well, that's all well and good freud but is that a story i want to tell? is that really going to matter? wouldn't it be more interesting to meet a man in vegas whose parents were clowns rather than analyse how this will affect his life?"
and then i think;
well hang on. imagine how amazing it would be to recieve high distinctions in everything. and go on exchange. and do masters and then a phd and then a thesis. and be so well educated that people actually want to hear me rant about everything. and when i have those thoughts, i actually take notes in lectures.
i don't know if you can imagine what it's like in my head.
but it's pretty effed up.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
i'm going to start up my own cafe.
sincerely.
it'll be this cute little place in some alley somewhere
that has old chairs and couches everywhere. and white walls with quotes and lyrics all over it.
and a big bookcase, that has all these brilliant books in it. and short stories and magazines.
and it will have brilliant lattes. and won't serve decaf at all.
when you go into the bathrooms, the mirrors will have moustaches on them
and we will serve really, really good breakfasts.
it'll be the most amazing thing ever.
and i can't wait. i want to do it now.
i want to quit uni and work seven days a week and save up to start it.
because it'll be the greatest thing in my life.
sincerely.
sincerely.
it'll be this cute little place in some alley somewhere
that has old chairs and couches everywhere. and white walls with quotes and lyrics all over it.
and a big bookcase, that has all these brilliant books in it. and short stories and magazines.
and it will have brilliant lattes. and won't serve decaf at all.
when you go into the bathrooms, the mirrors will have moustaches on them
and we will serve really, really good breakfasts.
it'll be the most amazing thing ever.
and i can't wait. i want to do it now.
i want to quit uni and work seven days a week and save up to start it.
because it'll be the greatest thing in my life.
sincerely.
Monday, April 26, 2010
oh darling.
the internet is bizarre.
like, i found this girl on there. and she's like me.
no joke. her names ruth and i've only met her once. and it was the most perfect meeting.
just randomly, at a night market. and it wasn't awkward at all.
i found her on myspace somehow and we started talking and realised that we were both amazing.
and she loves the beatles AND high school musical and isn't even that ashamed. i'm not that ashamed either. i used to take my high school musical mug to school everyday.
and it turns out, she's currently going to uni with a mate of mine from ye olde colac.
anyway. this is all over this place.
but we spoke on myspace about how we were going to meet and we were like "yeah, i hope it's somewhere completely random" and it was. i didn't even know she lived in melbourne then.
bizarro or what?
she's my first official blog follower.
and i like her heaps.
like, i found this girl on there. and she's like me.
no joke. her names ruth and i've only met her once. and it was the most perfect meeting.
just randomly, at a night market. and it wasn't awkward at all.
i found her on myspace somehow and we started talking and realised that we were both amazing.
and she loves the beatles AND high school musical and isn't even that ashamed. i'm not that ashamed either. i used to take my high school musical mug to school everyday.
and it turns out, she's currently going to uni with a mate of mine from ye olde colac.
anyway. this is all over this place.
but we spoke on myspace about how we were going to meet and we were like "yeah, i hope it's somewhere completely random" and it was. i didn't even know she lived in melbourne then.
bizarro or what?
she's my first official blog follower.
and i like her heaps.
i really, really, really like breakfast.
i kind of wish i was back in lorne though.
when after a night of fun, we relaxed with avocado and for once in my life i loved fresh tomato.
but yeah. breakfast is amazing. i'm pretty good at making it too.
this one time, i wanted to make the best scrambled eggs ever.
so i tried a recipe from a bill granger cook book and it was so good that i made it for an food assignment at school. it recieved an A.
then mum met him, and told him. and i got his autograph.
it was one of the greatest pieces of paper i'll ever recieve in my life.
i'm such a foodie nerd.
i kind of wish i was back in lorne though.
when after a night of fun, we relaxed with avocado and for once in my life i loved fresh tomato.
but yeah. breakfast is amazing. i'm pretty good at making it too.
this one time, i wanted to make the best scrambled eggs ever.
so i tried a recipe from a bill granger cook book and it was so good that i made it for an food assignment at school. it recieved an A.
then mum met him, and told him. and i got his autograph.
it was one of the greatest pieces of paper i'll ever recieve in my life.
i'm such a foodie nerd.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
hello.
well. um. this is awkward.
starting a blog is kind of like going to a party and not knowing anyone there.
yeah, you'll have one friend, but they have their friends on the other side of the room and you don't want to feel like a loser and walk around by yourself. so the choice is, do you stay put and hope the party pies come near you? or do you venture out and try to make some friends, crack a joke or two?
personally, i'm going to try to make some friends.
so hi. i'm haylee. i'm eighteen and i like to write.
mostly about me. more often than not, i am my own favourite topic.
first impression = conceited.
it's just the thing i know most about.
i really enjoy black and white photos and seeing buskers on my way to the train station.
i'm severely disappointed by the lack of ice break in footscray.
i prefer to type in lowercase unless i'm excited.
i dress kind of funny sometimes. i'm not consistent at all.
when people annoy me, i threaten to throw a coffee machine in their face.
i'm allergic to hair dye and make up. and good times make me sneeze.
i like to dye an assortment of things: tee shirts, dresses, my bath.
and i'm only a little bit heaps addicted to coffee and magazines.
that's a little about me. i hope we can be friends.
until then, i'm off to scout out for some cupcakes.
xo haylee.
well. um. this is awkward.
starting a blog is kind of like going to a party and not knowing anyone there.
yeah, you'll have one friend, but they have their friends on the other side of the room and you don't want to feel like a loser and walk around by yourself. so the choice is, do you stay put and hope the party pies come near you? or do you venture out and try to make some friends, crack a joke or two?
personally, i'm going to try to make some friends.
so hi. i'm haylee. i'm eighteen and i like to write.
mostly about me. more often than not, i am my own favourite topic.
first impression = conceited.
it's just the thing i know most about.
i really enjoy black and white photos and seeing buskers on my way to the train station.
i'm severely disappointed by the lack of ice break in footscray.
i prefer to type in lowercase unless i'm excited.
i dress kind of funny sometimes. i'm not consistent at all.
when people annoy me, i threaten to throw a coffee machine in their face.
i'm allergic to hair dye and make up. and good times make me sneeze.
i like to dye an assortment of things: tee shirts, dresses, my bath.
and i'm only a little bit heaps addicted to coffee and magazines.
that's a little about me. i hope we can be friends.
until then, i'm off to scout out for some cupcakes.
xo haylee.
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