white with two.

hey. so i've quit facebook for a week.
shock horror i know. but i need to not fail uni. at the moment i'm bi-polar as.
i keep having contradicting thoughts.
like one moment;
i just want to fail everything. just to see what it would be like. and i don't see a reason in continuing education when i know i'd prefer to learn life's lessons through practice rather than in a lecture. and i go to a lecture and they tell me that a persons personality is based on their childhood. and i think, "yeah well, that's all well and good freud but is that a story i want to tell? is that really going to matter? wouldn't it be more interesting to meet a man in vegas whose parents were clowns rather than analyse how this will affect his life?"
and then i think;
well hang on. imagine how amazing it would be to recieve high distinctions in everything. and go on exchange. and do masters and then a phd and then a thesis. and be so well educated that people actually want to hear me rant about everything. and when i have those thoughts, i actually take notes in lectures.

i don't know if you can imagine what it's like in my head.
but it's pretty effed up.